


Be there

by 0LilyLupin0



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Anxiety, Established Relationship, F/M, Mention of Panic Attacks, Peraltiago, domestic peraltiago
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-02
Updated: 2019-01-02
Packaged: 2019-10-03 02:01:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17274983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/0LilyLupin0/pseuds/0LilyLupin0
Summary: Amy is struggling with her first day as a Sargent and Jake tries to be there for her.





	Be there

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, I wrote this for a B99 Secret Santa at Tumblr and decide to post it here as well. So I remembered that Amy mentioned panic attacks during the wedding episode and this gave me the idea of writing this. I have my share of experience with anxiety and I guess Amy shows a lot of signals that she suffers with it as well, so it fits the topic.

 Jake woke up with the light of the sun coming up through the window, which was very unusual for a Monday morning. During the weekdays, Amy always had her three alarms on just to be sure they would wake up at time for work. What was even weirder was not finding Amy by his side when he opened his eyes.

ー Ames? ー Jake called, his voice still hoarse from sleep. ー Ames? ー He called again, louder, also getting up from their bed. Jake started to worry until he heard Amy’s voice in a very quiet tone coming from the kitchen, telling him where she was.

ー Good morning. ー Amy said as soon as Jake entered their kitchen. Her tone was light, but Jake felt some tension behind it. He could tell she was nervous by the way she was holding the mug too tight. She also looked exhausted, her eyes glassy and tired.

ー Good morning, babe. ー Jake answered, kissing her forehead. ー Are you okay? It is pretty soon for you to be up.

ー I am okay, just felt like getting up sooner today. ー Amy said with a smile that didn’t reach her eyes. Jake crooked a eyebrow at how uneasy Amy was acting.

ー Really? Today is your first day as a Sargent. It is totally normal to be nervous. ー Jake said carefully while serving himself some coffe on his own mug. Looking down at the Die Hard logo that covered the mug that had been a gift from Amy, Jake felt the familiar wave of love and care that always  came over him whenever he stopped to think about how lucky he was to have her in his life. And that was exactly the reason why Jake was trying to get Amy to talk about her problem. He couldn’t bear to see her in any sort of pain.

ー I am just fine. ー Amy said, staring at her mug, which was a clear indication she was indeed lying.

ー Hey, like I said, it’s okay. ー Jake repeated himself, getting closer to Amy, holding her face in his hands. ー This is huge, okay? It’s the first day of a very important part of your career. You are not being weak for feeling insecure or nervous. You just have to talk to someone about it. It doesn’t Have to be me, maybe you could call your therapist or just a friend. You just need to let it go. ー He offered, caressing her hair softly, gaining a weak smile in return. ー I am right here. Just tell me what you need. ー Amy sighed, burying her face in the crook of Jake’s neck after leaving the mug full of coffee at the table.

ー I am… I am terrified. ー She whispered, barely audible. Jake tightened his hold on his fiancée, hoping to offer some comfort. ー And I hate it. Rationally, I know I will do good, that I will be just fine. But my brain just keeps going through everything that can go wrong and I barely slept because of it. ー Amy pulled away a little to look at Jake before continuing. ー I know what you are going to say: I could have woken you up, but I didn’t want to worry you. I also wanted to handle it alone, do you get it? Show that I know what I am doing. It is just ridiculous, you know? I have done much harder things before, I shouldn’t be so afraid of being a Sargent. But still… Here I am. I have a headache that won’t go away, my heart is pounding just at the thought of everything I have to do today and it is almost like I can’t breathe. ー Amy finished talking, staring at anywhere but Jake.

ー Hey, it is okay. ー Jake whispered, holding Amy’s hands between his. ー You just need to take it slow, one thing at a time. We will have breakfast, maybe some tea and definitely no more coffee. ー Amy smiled weakly. ー And I am sorry for this, but I have to ask: Any signals of a panic attack? It is just that you said you couldn’t breath and I got worried. You haven’t had one in a while, but…

ー It is fine. I don’t mind you asking. But as far as I can tell there is not panic attack coming. My breath is getting back to normal. I am feeling a little tired, but I guess it is because I didn’t sleep well. ー Amy said, squeezing Jake’s hand. ー You were right, talking about it helps. Talking to you helps. I feel better now that I told you. ー Amy completed and her smile seemed a little forced, but Jake could tell she was indeed feeling better.

ー Okay, that is good to hear. ー Jake smiled at her, glad he had helped a little. ー But let me just say one more thing. You are going to kill it. You, Amy Santiago, are going to be the single greatest sargent the precinct has ever seen. And, then, you will become the youngest captain in the history of the NYPD and I will be the proudest husband ever. ーJake finished kissing Amy, who laughed in the middle of the kiss, throwing her arms around her fiance’s neck.

ー God, I love you. ー Amy whispered just before hugging Jake so tight he couldn’t help but giggle. Luckly, she was kind enough not to make fun of him for that. ー I really needed to hear that today. Thank you for believing in me.

ー I would be a fool not to. You are brilliant. ー Jake said, smiling. ー Look, just tell me if something bothers you, okay? I know this year has been one of the craziest of our lives, but I am always here for you. ー Jake stopped, looking a lot more serious. ー During and after prison, you were there for me and that is why I made it through. Knowing I could always count on you to listen to me and help me made me get better. I mean, my therapist also deserves some credit, but you got it. ー Jake joked a little to clear up the tension of his last statement.

ー Sure, I wouldn’t be so selfish. ー Amy joked back, letting go of Jake so he could get up from the chair, pulling her up with him.

ー By the way, I love you too. ー Jake whispered in her hair while they hugged, both standing at the middle of their kitchen.

ー I know. ー Amy whispered back.

ー If this was a Star Wars reference, I have to proclaim my love for you all over again. ー Jake said, smiling brightly.

ー I guess you have no other choice. ー Amy answered, smiling back. ー So… Are we cooking breakfast or what? ー She asked, kissing Jake’s cheek softly, meaning that she would rather not talk about the topic any longer. He followed her to the kitchen, relieved she was feeling better. Amy started to pick some eggs up with a more serene look on her face while Jake watched her carefully to make sure she was okay.

 He ended up concluding she was better than before. Jake started helping Amy with breakfast while still paying attention at her in case she felt down again.

 Jake knew he was worrying all too much, but he has been watching Amy struggling with her anxiety for so long that all he wants to do is protect her no matter what (even if he can’t do that). All Jake could really do is be there when she needed him.

 He hoped it was enough. And when Amy looked over her shoulder to smile at him, he felt like it was.


End file.
